There Is No Better Time Than The Present

Life can move so fast.  Work gets busy, deadlines go by, relationships come and go, the seasons change in a blink of an eye and before you know it the year has come and gone.  I remember when I was little, my mother would always say "the older you get the faster life goes by".  I had no idea what she meant by that, but as I continue to age into my 30's I realize mom was right.  Not only does time fly by, but when you do get that chance to stop, think and reflect, you realize you ignored some of the most important people in your life. Yes we call them, we show up for important events, we send birthday cards, text each other when we think of something funny or important, but are we really "connecting".  We are all creatures of habit when it comes to this, but it begs us to ask, are we really living in the "now"?

When a disease like Alzheimer's becomes a part of your family, thats all you have to rely on.  Tomorrow is unpredictable and the past is a forgotten memory, the present is your only trusted mark on the timeline.  When I saw my father a few weeks ago, I was reminded of this very thought.  Even though we talk on the phone, I often forget how this disease slowly works through the mind deceivingly well until its visibly in front of me to acknowledge.  On the phone, my father seems present, alert, even witty and tells a story of what happened earlier in the day.  In person, he seems lost, unaware, disorganized, ill-tempered and aloof.  It's during these visible moments that I am reminded that this disease has taken residence in my fathers mind.  Tangling and disorganizing simple thoughts, engraining itself in my childhood memories, casting shadows on the intellect, shuffling unwanted noise where it doesn't belong.  I fight internally to not show my anger and frustration when my father is around but if I had it my way, that deceptive disease would have no choice but to deal with me.  This is where it gets tough....I have no fighting chance.

All I have is the present, to embrace every moment I have with him.  I can no longer be in denial that my father may escape this. It's knocking, unwelcomed and certainly not unnoticed.  Some moments I cry, other times I thank god that I still have my dad but I know whats to come.  It might not be tomorrow or a year from now or five, but I know the end to this story. 

Life can be erratic, crazy, even thoughtless at times. In this high tech world, we get caught up in quick connections that parallel with our crazy schedule.  If we all took the time to be in the present, to really stop and connect with someone we love each day, not through a text message or a quick IM or email, but truly "connect" on a personal and spiritual level, trust me, the value you will be bringing into your own life will be far greater than the tasks you accomplished that day.  Tomorrow is not a guarantee and the past is a distant memory, the present is really all we have to enjoy and embrace.